My life is great, I have a loving man to share my life with, a great family and friends, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and clothes on my back. So I should be complaining at all.
I just feel like everything is waiting game and honestly patience has never really been my strong suit. And it isn't the instant gratification that I am seeking, it is something more. What more? I'm not entirely sure. I feel like I am at an impasse with life. Like what am I doing? Where am I going? Am I making the right choices? Am I making the wrong ones? When will I know I am where I should be? And it is definitely not a competition either with people I know or see doing different things than I am. It has never been about that, I am happy to see everyone i grew up with doing well and people I've met along the way also doing well. I wish them all the best.
I just hate waiting for things I can't make move any faster. And totally there are tons of things I can do and I am trying to focus on those things but the ones I can't make move any faster are the ones that keep me awake at night and drive me crazy (partially because I am impatient >_<). And honestly it isn't being here in Lawton that is making me feel this way, I think it is just life itself that is making me feel this way. Lawton isn't as bad as I assumed it was going to be, yeah it isn't ideal but it isn't the worst either. Like last weekend we went to a "Rattlesnake" festival in one of the nearby towns (took a little detour since Brad missed the exit and the exits and towns aren't as close to each other as one would think) ... but the funny thing is there weren't any snakes around. Well there was this one building or shop that had a snake pit, but everything else around was just like country fair stuff. There were even rides there and funnel cake! And there is also a wildlife reservation around too which has nice scenery and we can take Chlobear up there too. Also OKC isn't too far away about 90miles or so.
So in this thing/place/time we call life I will continue to practice better patience and self-exploration and I will bring you all along for the ride ;)
I just hate waiting for things I can't make move any faster. And totally there are tons of things I can do and I am trying to focus on those things but the ones I can't make move any faster are the ones that keep me awake at night and drive me crazy (partially because I am impatient >_<). And honestly it isn't being here in Lawton that is making me feel this way, I think it is just life itself that is making me feel this way. Lawton isn't as bad as I assumed it was going to be, yeah it isn't ideal but it isn't the worst either. Like last weekend we went to a "Rattlesnake" festival in one of the nearby towns (took a little detour since Brad missed the exit and the exits and towns aren't as close to each other as one would think) ... but the funny thing is there weren't any snakes around. Well there was this one building or shop that had a snake pit, but everything else around was just like country fair stuff. There were even rides there and funnel cake! And there is also a wildlife reservation around too which has nice scenery and we can take Chlobear up there too. Also OKC isn't too far away about 90miles or so.
So in this thing/place/time we call life I will continue to practice better patience and self-exploration and I will bring you all along for the ride ;)
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